Online dating can be a wonderful way to meet someone new – especially if you live alone, are retired, or simply enjoy chatting to people. But sadly, there are criminals out there pretending to be romantic partners to steal money from kind, trusting people.
This is called a romance scam, and it’s happening more often than you might think – especially to older people.
What is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam is when someone pretends to be in love with you to gain your trust, and then slowly starts asking for money.
They may contact you on:
- Dating websites
- Social media (like Facebook)
- Messaging apps (like WhatsApp)
They often say things like:
- “I’m working overseas and can’t meet yet.”
- “I want to come visit but need help with travel costs.”
- “My mum is sick and I need money for her hospital bills.”
- “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”
At first, they’re sweet and caring. They might message you every day. But once they have your trust, the lies – and the requests – begin.
Real Stories, Real People
Here’s one common example:
Margaret, 72, met a man online who said he was an engineer working abroad. He sent her loving messages for months. He said he wanted to come visit her in the UK, but he needed £2,000 for flights and visa paperwork. Margaret sent the money. Then he said he was arrested overseas and needed help with “bail money”. She sent more. In the end, she lost over £10,000 – and he was never real.
Sadly, stories like Margaret’s are very common – and the scammers are clever. They know how to tug at your heartstrings.
Warning Signs to Watch For
- They can’t meet you in person or make excuses to avoid video calls.
- They fall in love very quickly – even after just a few chats.
- They ask you to keep the relationship a secret.
- They ask you for money, bank details, or personal documents.
- They want you to move off the dating website onto email or WhatsApp quickly.
What You Should NEVER Do
Even if the person seems kind and genuine, if you haven’t met them face-to-face:
🚫 Don’t send them any money
🚫 Don’t give them your bank or ID details
🚫 Don’t transfer money for them
🚫 Don’t send gift card codes or invest on their advice
What You SHOULD Do
✅ Talk to a friend or family member about the person
✅ Check their photo online using a reverse image search (they might be using stolen pictures)
✅ Stay on the dating site until you’ve met in person
✅ Trust your gut – if something feels off, it probably is
✅ Report suspicious profiles to the website or app
If You’ve Already Sent Money
Don’t feel embarrassed. These scammers are professionals, and you are not alone.
Here’s what to do:
- Call your bank immediately – they may be able to help stop further losses.
- Report it to Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at www.actionfraud.police.uk
- In Scotland? Call Police Scotland on 101.
- If you gave out personal details, consider checking your credit report for suspicious activity.
You Deserve Real Love – Not Lies
At SafeHaven Recovery, we help people who’ve been targeted by scams – especially older adults. If you’ve been affected by a romance scam, we’re here to support you, not judge you.
💬 Need advice or worried about someone you know?
Get in touch with us today. You don’t have to go through it alone.
